The phone calls we take about funerals are almost never about flowers. They are from somebody who has been asked to send something, has never done it before, and is frightened of getting it wrong in public.
So, plainly.
Timing
Flowers go to the funeral home or the church, not the family house, and they need to arrive the morning of the ceremony at the latest. If you are ordering the day before, that is normal. If you are ordering two hours beforehand, call rather than using the website — we make and deliver condolence arrangements within three hours, seven days a week, and a phone call is faster than any form.
For the family home afterwards, wait a week. A house full of flowers on the day of a funeral is a burden; a small arrangement arriving the following Tuesday, when everyone has gone, is the one people remember.
What form it takes
A standing wreath on an easel is for the ceremony itself and is usually sent by colleagues, a company or a group of friends together. One person alone rarely sends a wreath, and doing so can read as competitive.
An individual sends a bouquet or a flat spray. In France the coussin, a cushion-shaped arrangement, and the raquette, a flat spray laid on the coffin, are both normal and neither needs explanation.
Immediate family send the flowers that go on the coffin. If you are not immediate family, do not.
Colour
White is correct and always safe. Cream, pale pink and soft green are also correct. We would avoid bright yellow and red unless you know it was a favourite colour, in which case say so on the card and it becomes obviously deliberate rather than a mistake.
Chrysanthemum is the traditional French funeral flower and carries no other meaning here — which is worth knowing if you are used to another country where it is a gift flower. Lily is common and beautiful and stains everything it touches, so pull the anthers out if you handle it.
The ribbon
Most condolence arrangements carry a printed ribbon. Standard wordings are short: À notre ami, Regrets éternels, À mon père. In English, from a colleague, With sympathy is enough.
Do not sign a ribbon with a company slogan. We have been asked and we say no.
What to write on the card
Short. People agonise over this and then write a paragraph nobody reads twice. Two sentences, the name of the person who died, and your own name written out in full so the family does not have to guess which Marc you are.
If you cannot find the words, ring us. We write four or five of these a week and we will read you what other people said.
